2010. Twenty-ten. Two thousand and ten: a new year and a new decade. A chance to say “out with the old and in with the new.” I use the last week of the year to read jounals, my old journals. Sometimes I read back a few years to see what was going on, where I was at the beginning of the year, and where I was at the end.
Most people say, let it go, what's done is done. Yet on the eve of the New Year, many say, good riddance to last year. So, do we ever let go? I have spent the last couple of days thinking about this. I read my journals; I contemplated what happened in 2009, and I thought about what the universe presented to me for the past decade. Loss of my best friend, divorce and life as a single parent; a college degree, the chance to teach, a job that held more challenges professionally and personally than I ever care to experience again, however would be blessed to; serious illness, personally, with my family and friends; friendships coming and going, the success and failures of my children. Most importantly what I experienced is that in the face of many difficult and stressful life situations, I survived and am a better person for it.
As I was driving home from work last week I checked my rear view mirror to see what traffic was behind me, and found my catch phrase for 2010: Life in the rearview mirror. When we drive, we need to focus on what is in front of us, yet we check the rearview mirror to see what is behind us. And about all that the mirror tells us, is we can safely change lanes. The rest of the time, we use the rearview mirror to back-up, or go forward because that effectively is the direction of the car. Backing up in a car, is going forward.
So on December 31st, 2009, I used my rearview mirror. There was a lot of traffic: very heavy at times, slow at others. A few skids, some crashes, sometimes speeding through the intersections, other times broken down by the side of the road waiting for the tow truck. However, that is what is in the rearview mirror and I am still traveling life’s highways. Today, though, I keep my eyes focused on the forward motion traffic.
What is my resolution for the New Year? I will no longer make any resolutions. I plan to keep my focus on the moment, to let go of the past the minute it happens. And on December 31st, 2010, if all goes right, I will have nothing to let go of because it will already be in the rearview mirror.
