I suspect that anyone who attempts to achieve anything in life will agree that along the way there are rejections and acceptances from others; negative and positive results; and that the axis we rotate between these is difficult. It is my belief that we often give more weight to the negatives, which crowd out the positive achievements in life.
I have been running on a high lately. With the success of my card line, I forgot what it was to struggle for acceptance into elite circles. In a short span of time, I developed a decent customer base and received invitations to several events. It is like everything I touch turns to gold. I have the energy to work my full time job and put the necessary effort into launching my business. I fed off the energy of the weekends and the universe and forgot about feeding the universe, a key in any relationship.
But then, like all who work tirelessly to build and create something, I forgot one of the most important lessons: humility and humanity, and doing the time.
My last blog about doing the time spoke of all the wonderful things that happen along the way and how much I enjoy giving life and character to words. But, there are times of rejection, heartbreak, and exhaustion. And when those times come, it seems like the walls crush out all of the positive energy which surrounds you. Rejection, heartbreak, and exhaustion can destroy you in a minute or nurture you to a more confident self.
After a weekend of painfully slow sales, I received a rejection letter from a well-known indie market. My heart sank. I quickly forgot that over the weekend, a prominent store owner approached me to inquire about wholesaling my product. I forgot that the weekend before I sold almost two hundred cards in a span of eight hours. The rejection quickly erased the achievements I attained. I found myself with negative self-talk echoing in my head and thought that perhaps it is time to give up. It takes too much energy, money, and time. I will never succeed.
As I sat last evening writing and designing new cards, I let it be. I awoke this morning, began laminating the signs for the weekend, and readied myself for work at my full time position. I let it go . . . that is, until I got behind the wheel or my car.
Somehow, when I drive, I get a solid grip on life. It was the same today. I thought of children on the playground bullied and rejected by their peer group. I remembered the pain of being the last one chosen for the team. I thought of the child who embraces their individuality and the difficulties they face every day as their peer group rejects their friendship. I thought of all the people in the entertainment industry and the amount of rejections they receive before the one acceptance that propels their career. I thought of the many careers destroyed because of rejection. How many doctors, accountants, lawyers, and other professional people in life take tests multiple times to receive their credentials? How many receive rejection letters from the college of their choice? I remember that J.K.Rowling received multiple rejections before her character Harry Potter became a living legend.
Rejection is part of life. It is what we do with it that strengthens our belief in our self and guides us on our path. Rejection answers the question, “how much do we want this?”, and then propels us forward. Rejection is an obstacle, not a block. Rejection reminds us that we are all the same. Whether the struggle for acceptance is on the playground, on a team, in our professional career as a business person, an actor or actress, musician, author, or friend, rejection is there to build our humility and character. Rejection is common in life and if given legs, can interrupt the potentials of our relationships, achievements and development of self. This however does not diminish the feeling associated with rejection. The feeling is what builds our endurance and character. Rejection reminds us to feed the universe so it can replenish our needs and create humility as we succeed.
Rejection is a gentle reminder to balance the positive with the negative and embrace both equally.
